I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
