just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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