It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize