That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
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I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
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I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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