Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
