just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
