Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
