Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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