never play flip cup with pint glasses
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
