and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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