I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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