Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Farmville is her only friend.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
