you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
well you can't waste a boner
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
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I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
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The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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