Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
