I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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