so explain again why im purple
no
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
