Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
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