Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
