i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
