Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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