So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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