I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
