nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
