I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
