I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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