Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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