spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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