porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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