You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
