I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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