yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
