Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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