you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize