ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
