When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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