I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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