90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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