Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
