Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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