The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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