Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like