just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
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It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans