Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis