i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.