we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?