She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
