Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize