Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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