so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
