The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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