She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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