I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I need help removing her.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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