look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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