cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
