So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize