remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize