Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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