Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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