I wish I only lived at night.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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