a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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