i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
