What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
